Advice for Bullies from my 10yr old

Today in Oklahoma, a young teenager shot and killed himself after being a victim of bullies. It led to a conversation with my kids that led to this blog post.

My oldest daughter has been down this path of bullies. She has pervasive development disorder as well as health problems. She does stand out and it draws mean people. In one instance, a group of kids held her down, one covered her mouth so she couldn't yell for help and they kicked her. I had no clue until she got off the bus with bruises all over her and told me what happened. The schools response was to give her an ice pack, send her to class and later on to tell me they were just being kids. The kids involved did not receive spankings nor were they expelled, they were talked to. From this point it escalated and a teachers child joined in and refused to allow my daughter to play in her group at recess because "she didn't talk well enough". My daughter has speech apraxia and had to use sign language until she was 4 when she learned to talk. Ridiculous excuses were made for the teachers child. My daughter would get nauseous every morning before school and would come home sobbing, saying she hated her life and wanted to die. I was done. My daughters well being was more important than trying to straightness it out, two years of trying was enough . So we transferred to a new school district, one with a zero tolerance bullying policy. The difference was instant. That was over a year ago.

Today, my daughter loves herself, more importantly, she has found the unconditional love of Christ. Recently, someone made the comment that her arm was weird. She broke her growth plate as a toddler. My daughters response was to tell the other child that was their opinion but she thought her arm was just fine and the only opinion that mattered anyway was God's. Can you say proudest-mom-ever?!?

Today, I talked to my daughter about the young boy that hurt himself and what she thought bullies should know. She said she would tell them that was mean and then ask them if they knew God. She then asked me the same question she has asked me a dozen times, why is there a law we can't have our bibles at school. I told her there just was. She said we need our bible at school so we can have bible clubs, that every school should have a club that everyone would be allowed to join and the bible club would be perfect because Jesus loved us all. She then grew concerned, she said, "mom, what about people like me that need to know Jesus? Who is going to tell them! They have to know mom!" She then brought her bible to me and she read:

And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague. (Mark 5:34 KJV)

She said thats what they need to know mom.

I can't make it okay for my daughter to take her bible to school, but I can sit here, barely able to type through the tears, and share what God has given Alyssa to share.

As a mom, I would do anything, and I mean anything to protect my children from hurt, to make their lives easier, to give them all I can. I can't ever make their lives perfect, I can't ever completely stop their hurt, but I can pray over them and make sure they have their bibles. In all their pain, God can take it and make it a blessing and a lesson. He can improve what can feel the most tragic of circumstances. When I felt so helpless for what my child was going through, God was working, He was working on my daughter, his child first, to help her leave fingerprints. She left so much on my heart today... I hope sharing will help someone else.

A grateful believe in Jesus Christ,

~Johnna