I struggle with this all day, every day. In my previous blog, I told about my daughters story with bullying. In my 34 years, I have seen more hatred that I care to even recall.
I grew up with a dad that was a very strong Christian man. It didn't matter what anyone did, he was kind, always. He taught me that kindness and for most of my life , that is who I was. If someone called me a mean name, I would ask them if they needed a hug. I did not understand meanness, nor did I know how to be mean.
In the last two years, trials and test have made my heart so hard towards mean people. Their hatred makes me hateful. I feel like I can't be nice or it will automatically open the door for me to be people's doormat.
I recently, and not really joking, told my husband that I really don't want to be the jerk whisperer anymore. He told me I should pray for people that are mean. He , as well as many others, have ministered to me to help me overcome traumatically hateful things I have been through. It's about learning and growing, and it is slow for me at this point.
The reason I am sharing this, because we are all a work in progress, ever growing stronger. That is what God does with our circumstances, if we turn them over to him. So I share myself for those that might need it.
The gospel of John does well in covering this matter. Jesus tells us we will be hated and persecuted. Jesus gives us instructions so that we won't be offended by others (John 16:1) And assures us that our Joy won't be taken (John 16:22) and assures us peace (John 14:27) we are commanded to love (John 15:12) no matter what others believe, we do not judge unbelievers (John 12:48) the world would love us if we were in it but we were chosen to be taken out so We are hated (John 15:20) and we will have troubles in this world but Jesus overcame the world, and we can have peace (John 16:33)
*these scriptures are referenced, not quoted so please study the exact scriptures in your bible
It is very easy to slip, to become of this world. Thankfully, Grace doesn't run out, it is sufficient, always. So we pick up our struggles, throw them over our shoulders as if they are a bag of tools we have been given to navigate this place (because that is what struggles are) and with the love of Christ in our heart, we make the decision to stand up one more time, stare meanness in the face, and ask, do you need a hug? With the love of Christ in our hearts, we embrace the dark moments with his light
"While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light."
When Jesus had said these things, he departed and hid himself from them. (John 12:36 ESV)
Have you loved to leave fingerprints?
A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Advice for Bullies from my 10yr old
Today in Oklahoma, a young teenager shot and killed himself after being a victim of bullies. It led to a conversation with my kids that led to this blog post.
My oldest daughter has been down this path of bullies. She has pervasive development disorder as well as health problems. She does stand out and it draws mean people. In one instance, a group of kids held her down, one covered her mouth so she couldn't yell for help and they kicked her. I had no clue until she got off the bus with bruises all over her and told me what happened. The schools response was to give her an ice pack, send her to class and later on to tell me they were just being kids. The kids involved did not receive spankings nor were they expelled, they were talked to. From this point it escalated and a teachers child joined in and refused to allow my daughter to play in her group at recess because "she didn't talk well enough". My daughter has speech apraxia and had to use sign language until she was 4 when she learned to talk. Ridiculous excuses were made for the teachers child. My daughter would get nauseous every morning before school and would come home sobbing, saying she hated her life and wanted to die. I was done. My daughters well being was more important than trying to straightness it out, two years of trying was enough . So we transferred to a new school district, one with a zero tolerance bullying policy. The difference was instant. That was over a year ago.
Today, my daughter loves herself, more importantly, she has found the unconditional love of Christ. Recently, someone made the comment that her arm was weird. She broke her growth plate as a toddler. My daughters response was to tell the other child that was their opinion but she thought her arm was just fine and the only opinion that mattered anyway was God's. Can you say proudest-mom-ever?!?
Today, I talked to my daughter about the young boy that hurt himself and what she thought bullies should know. She said she would tell them that was mean and then ask them if they knew God. She then asked me the same question she has asked me a dozen times, why is there a law we can't have our bibles at school. I told her there just was. She said we need our bible at school so we can have bible clubs, that every school should have a club that everyone would be allowed to join and the bible club would be perfect because Jesus loved us all. She then grew concerned, she said, "mom, what about people like me that need to know Jesus? Who is going to tell them! They have to know mom!" She then brought her bible to me and she read:
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague. (Mark 5:34 KJV)
She said thats what they need to know mom.
I can't make it okay for my daughter to take her bible to school, but I can sit here, barely able to type through the tears, and share what God has given Alyssa to share.
As a mom, I would do anything, and I mean anything to protect my children from hurt, to make their lives easier, to give them all I can. I can't ever make their lives perfect, I can't ever completely stop their hurt, but I can pray over them and make sure they have their bibles. In all their pain, God can take it and make it a blessing and a lesson. He can improve what can feel the most tragic of circumstances. When I felt so helpless for what my child was going through, God was working, He was working on my daughter, his child first, to help her leave fingerprints. She left so much on my heart today... I hope sharing will help someone else.
A grateful believe in Jesus Christ,
~Johnna
My oldest daughter has been down this path of bullies. She has pervasive development disorder as well as health problems. She does stand out and it draws mean people. In one instance, a group of kids held her down, one covered her mouth so she couldn't yell for help and they kicked her. I had no clue until she got off the bus with bruises all over her and told me what happened. The schools response was to give her an ice pack, send her to class and later on to tell me they were just being kids. The kids involved did not receive spankings nor were they expelled, they were talked to. From this point it escalated and a teachers child joined in and refused to allow my daughter to play in her group at recess because "she didn't talk well enough". My daughter has speech apraxia and had to use sign language until she was 4 when she learned to talk. Ridiculous excuses were made for the teachers child. My daughter would get nauseous every morning before school and would come home sobbing, saying she hated her life and wanted to die. I was done. My daughters well being was more important than trying to straightness it out, two years of trying was enough . So we transferred to a new school district, one with a zero tolerance bullying policy. The difference was instant. That was over a year ago.
Today, my daughter loves herself, more importantly, she has found the unconditional love of Christ. Recently, someone made the comment that her arm was weird. She broke her growth plate as a toddler. My daughters response was to tell the other child that was their opinion but she thought her arm was just fine and the only opinion that mattered anyway was God's. Can you say proudest-mom-ever?!?
Today, I talked to my daughter about the young boy that hurt himself and what she thought bullies should know. She said she would tell them that was mean and then ask them if they knew God. She then asked me the same question she has asked me a dozen times, why is there a law we can't have our bibles at school. I told her there just was. She said we need our bible at school so we can have bible clubs, that every school should have a club that everyone would be allowed to join and the bible club would be perfect because Jesus loved us all. She then grew concerned, she said, "mom, what about people like me that need to know Jesus? Who is going to tell them! They have to know mom!" She then brought her bible to me and she read:
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague. (Mark 5:34 KJV)
She said thats what they need to know mom.
I can't make it okay for my daughter to take her bible to school, but I can sit here, barely able to type through the tears, and share what God has given Alyssa to share.
As a mom, I would do anything, and I mean anything to protect my children from hurt, to make their lives easier, to give them all I can. I can't ever make their lives perfect, I can't ever completely stop their hurt, but I can pray over them and make sure they have their bibles. In all their pain, God can take it and make it a blessing and a lesson. He can improve what can feel the most tragic of circumstances. When I felt so helpless for what my child was going through, God was working, He was working on my daughter, his child first, to help her leave fingerprints. She left so much on my heart today... I hope sharing will help someone else.
A grateful believe in Jesus Christ,
~Johnna
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