Forever changed

May 3, 1999,  I stood outside with sirens going off and watched a tornado pass only 17 blocks away. As it moved further away, it got bigger. It would turn into a F5 , the highest rating for a tornado. It was a direct hit on the town of Bridecreek, Oklahoma.

I was 21 years old, going through some rough times in my life already. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I drove to Bridecreek and witnessed destruction like I had never seen. We were all quick to work together and a triage, search and rescue, and donation drop off were soon in place.

To our horror, we found the need to set up a makeshift morgue. I will never forget them finding and bringing in a lifeless newborn baby. A local teacher who knew the parents that were in the hospital, sat in the morgue holding and cleaning up this precious angel.

Everything I thought I knew about life, didn’t make sense anymore. I was put to work on the phone lines. The number I had was the number CNN had broadcast across the nation for people to check on their loved ones. A frantic mother called looking for her children who were in Oklahoma with their father. The phone never stopped ringing, it was back to back calls for over 12 hours. Others had to step in and we took turns in shift on this line where people had been hitting redial until they could finally get through, only to be told we were in a 48 moratorium and no longer allowed to give out information. Again, nothing made sense.

I was numb after returning home. I was lost and questioning everything, including my faith. I sunk into depression really quick. It was two week later, and mothers day. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about the mother’s empty arms. How she must feel.

The next day, I was in for the shock of my life. I found out after being told I couldn’t have kids, that we were expecting our first child. They gave me a pair of crocheted booties at the clinic as a congratulations gift and sent me home.

It was in some of these darkest moments, God reached out to me, performed a miracle in  my life and reminded me why life was so precious, so worth fighting for. It was worth continuing to do what I had done for a so much of life. To step in, to help when I felt most helpless. To hope when I had felt most hopeless.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV)

I will never forget what happened 14 years ago on this day. It molded 21 year old me into so much of who I would be for the rest of my life. I wont ever forget the man that showed up with brand new bicycles for every child that lost their home. I will never forget the bent and out of shape rings given to the young woman who had just lost her mom. I will never forget the food, clothes, supplies, and money dropped off by angels. Every time I hear the song “calling all angels” I remember these people. I remember the firefighters, so young , rummaging through debris to find loved ones. I will never forget the victims, the families, the moments that stood still. I was and continue to be forever changed.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna