Forever changed

May 3, 1999,  I stood outside with sirens going off and watched a tornado pass only 17 blocks away. As it moved further away, it got bigger. It would turn into a F5 , the highest rating for a tornado. It was a direct hit on the town of Bridecreek, Oklahoma.

I was 21 years old, going through some rough times in my life already. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I drove to Bridecreek and witnessed destruction like I had never seen. We were all quick to work together and a triage, search and rescue, and donation drop off were soon in place.

To our horror, we found the need to set up a makeshift morgue. I will never forget them finding and bringing in a lifeless newborn baby. A local teacher who knew the parents that were in the hospital, sat in the morgue holding and cleaning up this precious angel.

Everything I thought I knew about life, didn’t make sense anymore. I was put to work on the phone lines. The number I had was the number CNN had broadcast across the nation for people to check on their loved ones. A frantic mother called looking for her children who were in Oklahoma with their father. The phone never stopped ringing, it was back to back calls for over 12 hours. Others had to step in and we took turns in shift on this line where people had been hitting redial until they could finally get through, only to be told we were in a 48 moratorium and no longer allowed to give out information. Again, nothing made sense.

I was numb after returning home. I was lost and questioning everything, including my faith. I sunk into depression really quick. It was two week later, and mothers day. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about the mother’s empty arms. How she must feel.

The next day, I was in for the shock of my life. I found out after being told I couldn’t have kids, that we were expecting our first child. They gave me a pair of crocheted booties at the clinic as a congratulations gift and sent me home.

It was in some of these darkest moments, God reached out to me, performed a miracle in  my life and reminded me why life was so precious, so worth fighting for. It was worth continuing to do what I had done for a so much of life. To step in, to help when I felt most helpless. To hope when I had felt most hopeless.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV)

I will never forget what happened 14 years ago on this day. It molded 21 year old me into so much of who I would be for the rest of my life. I wont ever forget the man that showed up with brand new bicycles for every child that lost their home. I will never forget the bent and out of shape rings given to the young woman who had just lost her mom. I will never forget the food, clothes, supplies, and money dropped off by angels. Every time I hear the song “calling all angels” I remember these people. I remember the firefighters, so young , rummaging through debris to find loved ones. I will never forget the victims, the families, the moments that stood still. I was and continue to be forever changed.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna

Participating in Change

Change…

Last year the word was recovery, at the beginning of this year it was growth, now it is change. I am not sure when it became about change but God has made it loud and clear this last couple weeks, the focus is now change.

When I completely and unconditionally submitted my life to Christ all over again 2 years ago, I did so believing I would be made new. I did believe this, on faith. The bible tell us it’s true and we can claim that…

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

This week, even a few days ago, as I was struggling, I kept asking myself “what am I doing wrong?” I really do believe we can be made new, so why was I engaging in old behaviors? Why did everything seem to tumble back in an instant? It’s because I can say I believe and have faith, but I wasn’t acting the part.

For example, I went with my daughter on a field trip yesterday. They had a weight scale that would give your weight on earth and on the moon. Let me just say, I would be a happy size 2 if I lived on the moon, but I don’t. The reason this particular issue isn’t getting any better is because I am sitting on my hiney reading about being made new and then getting up and acting the SAME. God needs our cooperation sometimes. So today, with the thought, “what can I change today?” , I went walking. Not a huge change, but it is a change. It was a change I took part in as a “new” person.

It’s isn’t coincidence the new book I picked up this morning was titled, “Changing Course”. Claudia Black tells us that “recovery starts with recognizing that you would like at least part of your life to be different that it is now. “ That means… you guessed it, change!

So I share with you my new focus. Some of you may have started this journey with me, some may just be starting it now, and some may be way ahead in the game. In any case, for those that are ready to step out of the insane pattern of doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, I encourage you to ask yourself, what can I do as a new person that is different? It doesn’t have to be a huge deal. It can be skipping the donut shop and picking up some fresh fruit in the morning. It can be lowering our voice when we feel the urge to raise our voice. It can be setting at timer for 15 minutes to clean, or 15 minutes to be still and pray and meditate. It can be dropping some clothes stashed in the back of the closet off at a local charity. Just do today,  something you didn’t do yesterday. Something new, something changed.

The point is, God can, will, and wants to change us. Are we willing to participate?

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna

On my Knees...

When I first found myself in a recovery support program called Alanon, I had an amazing sponsor. She would lead me through steps and guide me through exercises that would be helpful to me. I was listening, to most of it. I wasn’t seeing much change. I would be okay for a minute and then would go right back to that pattern of insanity, trying to fix everything on my own willpower.

One day, I was frustrated and called her complaining. Nothing seemed to be working and I was ready to hide in a closet. She asked me, “Are you praying on your knees like I told you to?”  The answer was, ‘I am praying, exhausted and worn out, layed out on my bed”. That was not the answer she was looking for. I wasn’t praying submitted to God, I was praying submitted to my body that was completely finished with the day and ready for sleep.

In reflecting on this time in my life, I realize  I had been saying my prayers so I could go to sleep. For many years in fact, that was the routine. Get ready for bed, and then say my prayers so I could go to sleep. Oh what I have learned in the last couple years. Starting with, prayers aren’t just so we can go to sleep. In fact, that isn’t what they are for at all.

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19 KJV

This is what prayer, on our knees is for and what it does for us. I would encourage you to learn, pray and meditate over this scripture. Then practice it!

Something amazing began to happen as I became intentional about praying on my knees every morning and every night. I started with praying for the new day and God to guide my thoughts and actions and end every day, thanking God for helping me make it through. Very quickly, I found myself on my knees by my bed more than just every morning and every night. I would get frustrated with my husband or my kids and I would go tell God about it. “Lord, what is with THEM”. I would get back up, and something would be changed, but it wasn’t THEM, it was me!! I felt like a new person facing a new day, every time!!! All of a sudden, my frustrations and worries and overwhelming responsibilities began to shrink. I had learned to effectively hand everything, including myself, over to God. When I did this, He was then able to work in me.

The first 3 steps of any 12 step program can be summarized liked this;

Step 1. I can’t
Step 2. God Can
Step 3. I will let Him

I hope by sharing some experience, strength, and hope that I have been able to help you like my sponsor helped me. I pray for you to find the strength to get on your knees, submit it all to God and let Him begin to do that wonderous work in you that only HE can do!!!

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna

Dear Chrissi Nimmo,

Dear Chrissi Nimmo,

As I have  watched the Baby Veronica case unfold, I have been overwhelmed with emotions. From the time I saw bumper stickers and perfume being sold to solicit money in this precious baby girls name, I couldn’t walk away. She didn’t need saved from her family, she was saved and brought back home to her family, because of you, and because of ICWA.

Tomorrow is the biggest day to come. The day it all is finally decided in front of the Supreme Court of the United States of America. The rights and sovereignty of first nations as well as the rights of our children are at stake. In our culture, we all know we don’t have one momma, we have tribes full of them.

I am reminded this morning of an Indian story. I want to share it:

“There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains. The lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They didn't know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn't know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain. Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home. The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred feet. Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below. As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby's mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn't figured out how to climb. And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could that be? One man greeted her and said, "We couldn't climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn't do it?" She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It wasn't your baby."

Tomorrow Chrissi, you are THE momma of many tribes, climbing the mountains and doing what no one else could do. I firmly believe nothing is born out of time. You were chosen for this day, for this time, for this purpose. Just as Veronica (Little Star) was chosen for the same purpose. Because of both of you, the rights and well beings of tribes across this great nation will remain in place.

I pray for the Great Spirit that I call God to surround you, hold you up, to guide your words and your actions. You have already brought her home, now just stand firm on that mountain and know that over 500 tribes are standing behind you!

May God Speed and Justice Prevail,
Johnna Payne-Hurt

LeaveFingerprintsMinistry.com

I am excited to announce our website is up and running! You can visit it at http://www.leavefingerprintsministry.com/ So super excited to have everything together in once place and links to all of our networks. Thank you to everyone that has followed and subscribed and liked us on facebook! Can't wait to see what the next step will be!

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna

Children's bible study ~Walking with God

Here is another bible study I put together for our children. This one is because I wanted them to understand they could have their very own relationship with God and not just on Sunday!

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna 

Children's bible study~ Chores

We have been doing bible studies with our children. I usually feel led to a topic and then we go with that. This week, the topic was chores. Our kids think of chores often as a punishment and I felt that needed discussed further so that they could see it is a privilege and responsibility. With 6 kids, we keep it kind of simple. We stay open to discussion and we end with a scripture memory verse we write on the dry erase  board in our dining room so the kids can work on it for the week. I just felt led to share this and hope it helps!

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
Johnna

Religion and Sex Addiction

I have been reading “The Pursuit of God” but A.W. Tozer. He uses the world “mental intercourse” and points out that like encounters with people, we can’t get to know the personality of God in one encounter.

I work with and around sex addicts all the time. Tozer’s statement helped me make the comparison of religion and sex addiction. Just as anyone can chose to participate in the physical act of sex in many different ways, so can people choose to participate in religion. Anyone can attend a church function, or walk that isle and give their lives to God. It isn’t one single act that transforms us. It isn’t what we are seeking. It isn’t fulfilling.

We are seeking that satisfaction that comes from a deep relationship. That “mental intercourse” that Tozer points out is so necessary. By surrendering our mind, body and spirit to the will of God and his purpose, amazing things happens. To stick with the comparison here, to submit completely to the process of experiencing God, is to reach an orgasmic enlightenment. This is what draws the line between spirituality and religion that so many talk about. We are aiming for the spiritual, not the religious. We are seeking an entire relationship, not just an encounter.

When was the last time you had a fulfilling encounter with God? Have you taken the time to be still and experience Him?

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
Johnna

The keys to obedience

A story was passed on to me recently. The summary of the story was that when God requires something to be done, even the devil must obey Him.

This was a very strong statement and one that has really made me think. In the story of Job, when satan is taking possessions and family from Job and testing his faith, God lays it out. He determines to what degree Job can be tested and requires that Job’s life not be taken. Satan obeys God and only does what he is allowed to do.

At this point I began to question exactly why God allows what He does and it was in this moment that I remembered, God put us here for His glory. He, like those of us that choose to be parents, chose to create us. He wants to love us and finds joy in watching us grow. This growth isn’t just physical, God delights in watching our spiritual growth. He wants us to grow towards him so we can return home someday.

Then why, one might ask, would God allow his children to be tested? Since the fall of man, that was a choice we have made, in our own disobedience. God has tried to tell us all along what was best, but we haven’t listened. When God’s chosen people had judges, while the other lands had kings, people threw a fit. They wanted kings too. This wasn’t best but God allowed it. We want free will and then we want to ask God why it didn’t work out.

I imagine this is similar to a parent giving their child the keys to the car. We don’t want our kids to break the law, we sure wouldn’t want them doing something so dangerous as drinking and driving, but we really do have to let them drive. We do want them to be happy and we want them to grow so we set rules, pray they followed them, and hand over the keys. God, our father, operates the same way. He hands us the keys with a set of rules and then hopes that we follow them so we can safely grow and be happy.

These are random thoughts that were jumbling up until I felt the need to write them down. Seriously though, do you understand the responsibility you have been given? God has trusted us with precious keys and He wants us to make it home safely. Are you following the rules or are you setting yourself up for temptation and harm? Obedience in this world brings comfort for now, but one day, it will determine if we make it home.

A grateful believer in Jesus Christ
Johnna

Blessings and testings...

I have to say, for having a large family to provide for, we are blessed to live fairly comfortable. By comfortable, I mean our bills are paid and we don't have to worry about our needs if we are responsible with our money. I have to admit, I am not always the most responsible.

With Easter coming up and so many extra's to purchase, I was getting a little concerned this week. I prayed a lot, knowing God always provides. This morning I woke up financially worried. I had to turn it over to God several times . Outside was the most beautiful sunrise and I was in awe of how amazing God is, I knew all would be okay.

As I walked in my front door, my phone went off. It was my husband telling me a bonus check had come in. He normally gets these every couple months but this one was unexpected and a complete surprise. I knew and he knew it was an answered prayer.

About an hour later, I was wandering around a thrift store. It's one of my favorite things to do. I found a wallet that had tons of pockets in it. My wallet doesn't ever seem to have enough slots for all the cards and stuff I need it to hold. I was trying to decide if I wanted to buy this wallet and was looking through it when I came across money. The Lord had certainly blessed me this morning, now He was letting me be tested.

I have been through enough in my life that I know how serious it is for me to be obedient to what I believe to be right. I knew it was right to turn this money in. I sent my husband a message and of course he responded with a gentle encouragement that the right thing was to turn the money in and then told me I should buy the wallet for myself. So that is what I did.

As I was back in my vehicle I began to question, why do I have to always be so obedient? I wish I could not be obedient sometimes but my naughtiness is normally limited to sneaking to get ice cream while my kids are in school (and while I am on a diet).

 "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." Joshue 1:8 

It suddenly dawned on me, how quickly I had become ungrateful. So many prayers and blessing were received this morning. This amount of money wasn't significant compared to my husband's bonus. Why was I even letting this be an issue. Why had I so easily forgotten the blessings? 

I am grateful for today. I have been blessed and tested, and fed in more ways than one. 

"For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does." Psalms 33:4

**The management did let me know the money was going to their charity fund for the youth which is what they do with money that is found in donated items. 

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

I am ready!

     I was walking in the park with my daughters and I asked if they wanted to walk around the other side of the park and across the bridge that went over the small pond. My 8 year old said, ”Not the big bridge, it scares me!” She then ran up to my side and said, “first I have to hold my momma’s hand and then I can”. She grabbed my hand and exclaimed, “I am ready now!”

     One of the many things being worked on in my life is the time I spend with God, especially in the morning. I had begun praying at the end of the day for God’s will and purpose in my life and his direction. Then I would wake up the next morning and I would start getting ready and move on with my day, never stopping to ask for the one thing I was praying for, His direction. I was convicted! I began praying in the mornings, first thing, and overtime this has grown into getting up a little earlier and even reading the bible. (This time change has thrown me off again on exactly how early I am getting up so I am back to working on that.)

     A scripture that I found one day as my very thoughts were all over the place and I was wondering why I felt so scatterbrained was Matthew 12:30:

“He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad."

     As my daughter grabbed my hand today, all of this came to the forefront. Like children that, with all of their trust, grab their parents hand for guidance and reassurance, we have to grab our Heavenly father’s hand. We have to gather with him first, and then we are ready!

    If you haven’t been doing so, I urge you to grow into meeting with God every morning. This is an intentional action that will become habit over time. Pray, read your bible, talk to Him, whatever it takes to face your day. You will know you are being changed when your heart begins to exclaim, “I am ready.”

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,

Johnna

Gaming Skills

I have recently discovered a puzzle game. It is pretty popular right now. You have to match 3 or more pieces of candy to get them to disappear off the board. There are different goals as you advance in levels in the game. I have noticed that while I am playing this game, if I don’t see a match for a minute or I have stopped to look up, 3 matching pieces will start flashing. This is the games way of helping me out by pointing me in the next right move.

I had to smile as I was thinking about this yesterday. It’s amazing how sometimes the silliest things come to me. I was thinking, how cool is it that when I be still, the right next move comes along. Not just a little either, it is flashing across the entire board and can’t be missed.

There is a scripture that teaches us to be still, it is one of my favorite…

 ^“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalms 46:10 KJV

In life, when we take the time to “be still”, God will often provide answers for us, and they will flash! We will KNOW it is God.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ

~Johnna

How far away are we...

I had a pastor when I was a young girl that explained reading the bible to me. He told me that we wouldn't always understand all of it, but we weren't called to understand, just to read. God would bring us understanding in His time. I can remember being 9 years old and my head spinning from all the "begats".

I say that to say this... I can and do understand the bible but what I want to share today is kind of a realization between the lines. Meaning, this is not necessarily a biblically authorative led blog post.

I finished 2 Chronicles this morning. In chapters 33 and 34, we are introduced to King Amon who takes the throne at 22 and reigns for 2 years. He isn't a righteous king so his servants kill him and his son Josiah becomes king at the age of 8. Josiah is a righteous king and reigns for 31 years.

Now, this part stood out to me and in fact stopped me in the middle of reading. This 24 year old man has an 8 year old son. Meaning he was 15 or 16 when he conceived this child. He then went on to disobey God and lost his life early. Out of this, came a good child, an 8 year old king.

As  a mom of 6, I am amazed and appalled here. I spent all day yesterday, trying to get my 8 year old to clean-her-room. I admit I have not perfectly raised perfectly obedient kids. I tried every trick in the book, she wasn't cleaning her room. Now this 8 year old boy, whose daddy was naughty as naughty kings could be, was a good kid that was capable of being a good king. HUH, HOW, WHAT?

So I wonder, how far away from God and obedience are we in today's society. I am thinking really, really, really far. I am appalled.

I also realize that I do try to be the best parent I can be and I am a messy sinner and I mess up this parenting thing a lot. So how did this 8 year old boy make a good king? I heard a saying once. It is , God doesn't expect us to be the perfect parent, He expects us to point our children to Him in everything we do. When I am a good parent, my kids see me pray, when I am a bad parent, my kids see me pray. This amazed me.

The truth and the picture in this is that it isn't about us. We are used to carry out God's will. I have read from 1 Samuel through to 2 Chronicles (The Kingdom Era). For every bad king, there was a good one as well and I can't find any specific order that good and bad kings came.

For if ye turn again unto the Lord, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land: for the Lord your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him. 2 Chronicles 30:9 KJV

The fingerprints left... take it all to God, teach it all of God. Regardless of how far away today's society is, God wants us to seek Him and He wants us to teach our children to seek Him. Are you taking the time to turn it over and seek God?

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

Growing wishes...

Recently, My husband was outside with all of our children playing in the yard. Our 6 year old pointed a dandelion out to her dad and said, "Look dad, we're growing wishes". Oh how much this moment shows to us a childlike perspective. Full of excitement and purpose, she was ecstatic over a simple dandelion in the yard.

How can that leave fingerprints on us? The verse that comes to mind for me...

And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. Luke 17:6

Just like our 6 year old excited about "growing wishes", we can be that excited about growing faith. A mustard seed is oh so tiny. It just takes that small amount on our part and God will grow it and then we can plant it anywhere and every where we go. Like the dandelion that spreads and grows as children are blowing it's seeds into the wind, so can our faith and ultimately, the good news of the gospel be spread and grown.

Are you growing in faith and spreading the good news? Are you leaving fingerpints?

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna 

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The cures...

Spent the morning studying the beatitudes in Matthew 5. I think they are the cure for the abominations that start in Proverbs 6:16.

I say that because in Recovery, we are taught not just to look at the character defect but also the opposite, the asset. To let God work in us and on us in removing our defects by intentionally practicing the opposite of our habits.

The Beatitudes are a roadmap of virtues for us to intentionally practice. They don't just help heal character defects, they prepares us for the kingdom of heaven.

It amazes me how much recovery is biblical but I think the analogy of recovery helps bring the biblical into a lost world.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

Songs of Praise

One of my favorite ways to worship is through music. It’s unfortunate that I can’t sing.  Actually I guess I could but not many other people would be interested in hearing the distorted sounds that come out. I am absolutely thrilled that God gave that gift to at least one of my children.

My 9 year old daughter Amanda has a heart for singing. I didn’t just say voice or ability to remember lyrics even though she has both of those gifts as well. She really has the heart for singing. I catch her with her eyes closed singing a worship song and I see my daughter communicating with God. I am awestruck watching her in these moments.

Last December, Amanda was invited to sing at church for Christmas eve service. She was so excited and nervous. We were all so happy for her. She was concerned about remembering the lyrics as it was a song new to her. She practiced several times at  home and at church and was able to get somewhat comfortable.

Christmas eve came and it was time. Amanda stood up in front of the congregation looking scared but determined. The music came on and she began singing. Then it happened. Amanda was thrown off a little and she panicked and she broke down crying on stage. My heart was instantly shattered for my daughter. The music minister stood beside her, prayed with her on stage until she calmed down and helped her continue. She did great, she overcame a mistake and finished and her voice was beautiful.

I have to get honest. I think every adult present was humiliated FOR her. We all wanted to take that pain, that hurt, that moment and protect her from it. To see a child stumble is so difficult. Any one of us would have done anything to make that better for her.  At least that is what most of us saw and felt.

Later that evening as our family was gathered in our kitchen preparing for bed, we stood in a circle and took turns telling what we were grateful for. Amanda’s turn came and she grinned and she said, “I am grateful I got to sing for my Lord tonight”.

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! Psalms 95:1-2 ESV

I was instantly convicted in so many ways. I saw my daughter stumble in front of people. I saw her break down crying. I thought it was kind of weird how she did finish and that was that. She didn’t seem to have many after effects of the mistakes that we all felt. I understood why she wasn't upset for long when Amanda spoke her words of gratitude. Amanda wasn’t just singing to perform for the people. In fact, that was probably the last thing she was singing for. Amanda was singing for her Lord. That was her heart and that is why God gave her this gift. I learned from my daughter this day, as did many others. She didn’t make a mistake, she did what she set out to do, she used her gift for God’s glory and in return he used that experience to grow her and the people around her.

I share this because it was put on my heart after reading about song in my bible tonight. This blog is about how we can leave fingerprints. That goes both ways. Sometimes, fingerprints get left in our life by others. I am grateful for my kids and all they teach me. God uses them in so many ways and I am amazed and blessed.  When did someone leave fingerprints in your life? Are you taking the time to pay attention and learn?

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ

~Johnna

To "those" people from "us" people..

I have several family members that struggle with addictions to drugs and alcohol. These struggles often result in people passing judgement and acting with prejudice towards our family. As someone that has never touched a drug and can count on my hands the number of times I have drank, this causes me great frustration.

I want "those" people that look at "us" people to know a few things:

1. Our family struggles, they are not what defines our family. Our reaction to our struggles define our family.

2. It's a family struggle. One family member that isn't sober minded will affect the rest of the family and their thoughts and actions.

3. We didn't choose this struggle, it's a disease that requires something outside of ourselves to cure.

4. Recovery becomes a way of life because without it, we wouldn't have life.

5. Those of us that have found recovery, are grateful for our struggle. It's gives us a spirituality that only comes from living a hell that few understand.

6. We do believe in God just as much as you do and consider ourselves God's children. The grace present through our struggles has left no doubt of God. He is real and He is good.

7. We kind of feel sorry for you. Everyone has hurts, habits, and hangups but not everyone gets the freedom that comes from recovery.

8. Celebrate Recovery can help you too.

In the past, recovery programs have been more aimed at specific groups. Celebrate Recovery has opened up the world of recovery to include everyone. It's a program for Men, Women and children struggling with anything. I recently took a chip for my weight, and have taken them for my marriage, control issues, resentment, handing things over to God, a call to ministry, and the list is endless.

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. (Romans 7:18 ESV)

If you are reading this and are facing ANY struggle or if you are just curious, I invite you to find a Celebrate Recovery near you.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

When Recovery works..

In recovery we learn what is called the thee C's. They are a formula for dealing with the actions and habits of others. They are, I didn't Cause it, I can't Control it, and I can't Cure it.

There has been conflict in my life lately with people that are not in recovery. This conflict has been ongoing and without resolution for awhile. It all kind of came to a head this week.

I spent quite a bit of time looking at both sides of the street, trying to make sense of it. After seeking counseling from a minister, I understand I have done all I can on my side of the street. Not everyone has the ability to look at themselves when in conflict, especially if they haven't had recovery to teach them.

My instincts want me to resort to old behavior and try and force others to see things my way. What I have remembered is the 3 C's.

I have a peace in my heart. I know conflict isn't about winning or being right, it's about learning. This lesson has taught me to set healthier boundaries. I also have to stop people pleasing which is exactly what put me in the position to be manipulated.

One more thing I am understanding, sometimes other peoples trials and tribulations affect us. When conflict arises with people that aren't very experienced in the area in which they are working, they have to learn. They have to grow and stretch just like I do. I am sure God is teaching everyone involved. I can't take on other people's trials, I have to get out of God's way. I have to face my trials and grow from them. This is Recovery working.

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13 ESV)


A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~ Johnna