An entire year of One Day at a Time

It's been at least a week of dread realizing this day was coming. Today, it's been one year since I lost my mother to suicide. 

Knowing I needed to sit down and ask God to give me something to share, and knowing it would be painful, I didn't want to face this day. The memories are still painful but a tiny more bearable. 

The thing about sharing our story, is that healing is brought when we allow God to recycle our pain. He uses even the bad spots for his glory. He gives us redemption, free and undeserved. He needs us to pass that a long so others know they can receive it as well. 

What can be redeeming about this situation? It hasn't been easy to find silver linings, but what I have done is think a million times over what I wish I could have said to my mom. It tormented me for the first six months after her death until God helped me turn the torment into testimony. It's that recycled pain that I can and do share  now with others.

What I wish I could have told her and what would I tell someone else struggling to survive ...

Suicide is an unnecessary decision. I know the pain is real, but Jesus already took that pain to the cross and died that death for you, all you have to do is accept that truth, stand on that truth and claim victory in that truth. 

It may take other believers, lots of prayer and a recovery program to overcome such an intense attack from the enemy, but the first and most important step is accepting the work done on the cross. 

"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4-5 ESV)

The thing I would like the survivors  to know, is Jesus loves you, he sees you, and he is with you. He was born, he lives, he died and he rose again, just for you. He will never leave you or forsake you. The pain is excruciating but you too can take your pain to the cross and he will heal you. 

I am praying for all who reads this, that you find the grace, mercy, hope and love that comes from our One True King

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ, 

Johnna