In recovery we learn what is called the thee C's. They are a formula for dealing with the actions and habits of others. They are, I didn't Cause it, I can't Control it, and I can't Cure it.
There has been conflict in my life lately with people that are not in recovery. This conflict has been ongoing and without resolution for awhile. It all kind of came to a head this week.
I spent quite a bit of time looking at both sides of the street, trying to make sense of it. After seeking counseling from a minister, I understand I have done all I can on my side of the street. Not everyone has the ability to look at themselves when in conflict, especially if they haven't had recovery to teach them.
My instincts want me to resort to old behavior and try and force others to see things my way. What I have remembered is the 3 C's.
I have a peace in my heart. I know conflict isn't about winning or being right, it's about learning. This lesson has taught me to set healthier boundaries. I also have to stop people pleasing which is exactly what put me in the position to be manipulated.
One more thing I am understanding, sometimes other peoples trials and tribulations affect us. When conflict arises with people that aren't very experienced in the area in which they are working, they have to learn. They have to grow and stretch just like I do. I am sure God is teaching everyone involved. I can't take on other people's trials, I have to get out of God's way. I have to face my trials and grow from them. This is Recovery working.
for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13 ESV)
A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~ Johnna
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