When I was a young teenager, I was in and out of the hospital quite often. After about two years, they finally discovered it was my gallbladder. During those years, I endured many procedures. Some of those procedures are the kind that cause adults to be scared. I also had my blood drawn many times. I learned fairly quickly if I would relax and go with it, all would be over quickly and the pain was minimal. I knew if I fought the nurses or tensed up, I would be in more pain. If you have ever had a needle stick in your arm, you know the more tense you are or the more you move, the more likely there would be bruising, swelling, or even a vein would blow.
I am older now but I am always very cooperative at the doctor and I intentionally remain calm so that I can minimize any pain I might have. This was a practice I was able to use while giving birth to my children as well.
I feel emotionally chaotic quite often. I have a ton of things on my plate and I start trying to take control of it all instead of letting it come to me a step at a time. Today, I had planned to get up, make breakfast for my family, get dressed for church and off we would go. My husband ended up being quite sick and the two little ones were coughing. The crud has been going around and knowing we couldn't go to church and spread our germs, we decided we needed to stay home. As I walked in the little girls room, I was overwhelmed with the mess. There were playing cards and clothes from one end to another. I told them to clean and as I went to sit down and calm down, I realized how chaotic I had become. I was breathing and praying and trying to regain composure.
It dawned on me, I was fighting what was happening this day. It hasn't gone as I have planned but my plans shouldn't be what determine my peace. I realized and learned something I pray sticks in my heart. Just as I have learned to relax physically at the doctors office, I have to relax spiritually and emotionally. God is the healer over all of me and while there are "procedures" that He has to work in my life, if I will relax and let God do what He needs to do, the frustration and pain will be less. Fighting God
will make things way more difficult and painful. My will and my way is NOT best. I have to take my day as it comes and let the rest go. God is in control.
After I was able to stop fighting this day and I could reflect on what was going on, well I spent the next 30 minutes with this message on my heart before I gave in to sit down and share it. It's a message I am grateful and I hope it is a stepping stone in my journey so they I can feel less chaotic and I can grow with less pain.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord , and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8 ESV)
A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna
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