Pretty Masks

So I admit, I watch others to learn from others. I have done this from a very young age. 

I have always known my life wasn't the average mom-dad-two kids-one dog-brick home with white picket fence kind of life. As I got older, I realized, how much my life was far from that picture I had developed of "normal". Then I got older and wondered was that a normal that even existed? Then I realized, even in a family that fit that description, it was just a pretty mask. The reality, life is messy, chaotic and up and down! A pretty mask to hide behind doesn't change that. 

Back to learning from people and the expectations I have had to let go of. What we see is not reality, it's a perception. Reality requires a view of the whole picture and often we are limited to the glasses we have looked through our whole lives. I have worked through a recovery program that has enlightened my peripheral vision. I still don't have the complete picture and it's very likely, that won't happen soon.

I have sifted through many disappointments, let downs, and failures. I have had to work through trust issues and anger issues and the whole vomiting-emotions-on-everyone-that-is-in-my-path-when-I-can-no-longer-deal-with-feelings thing that I do. 

What's the point of this blog, learning truth. It doesn't come from watching people, it comes from God's word. In the bible I have found my comfort. The answers I search for on how to navigate life are all there. An example that I hold dearest is to seek God in all that I do and He will make my path straight. 

I don't have to follow the pretty masks! I don't have to struggle to be right. I don't have to blindly navigate this world and end up hurt and defeated. I can seek God. He is the great navigator, planner, protector, and provider. When things don't go right, it's usually that they aren't wrong, but that I set up expectations and therefore defeated myself. 

Truth sets us free. As I fall short of my own expectations again and again, I am reminded, the only thing I  should expect is that I will need to hand my life over to God every day. When I feel that I have let God down, I just have to remember I can't let God down, I am not holding him up. The truth is, God is holding me up and He will never let me down. 

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ, 

Johnna