Feeding Marriage....

 "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  Matthew 19:6

When I entered the Celebrate Recovery program 2 years ago, I was told after I worked the 12 steps on myself, I would have to work them on my marriage as well. To be honest, I had already given up on my marriage at that point and working anything on it just didn't make sense. I had tried for 15 years, I was out of options, or so I thought.

After working the steps on ourselves, a reconciliation happened and my husband moved back home and we were ready. What we didn't realize was how we were really starting from scratch. On our knees in prayer, we gave it all back to God and He sure began to work.

Here is the part I would like to say that everything is perfect and all better today. I have learned it will never be perfect and all better. Marriage is a process. It is not just a process to make us happy, but to make us holy. It forms and molds us into better people. IF we feed our marriage with intention and purpose, it will grow and thrive as the most important relationship we can have with another person.


 I know as a parent, I wasn't absolutely sure what to do with a baby or how being a mom should look. I knew a baby needed fed so I asked the nurses and doctors and other moms. I knew a baby needed check ups so again, I sought guidance from others, I read parenting books to make sure my kids were functioning and thriving as expected. If I had just guessed, I would risk starving my child, harming my child, I wouldn't be  a good mom. This is exactly what we had done wrong in our marriage. We didn't seek advice and instruction and had literally starved it.

I see now, how my marriage requires the same care and concern. If I want to be a good wife, I had to seek guidance from other wives. I had to read books, particularly the bible. I had to pray and I had to be willing to grow. Just as I am determined to succeed as a mom in raising my children, I had to be dedicated to my marriage. Anything less that submission and obedience to instruction and wisdom and I my marriage wouldn't make it. My identity as a wife was on the line and it was my own fault for not thriving in that area.

Once I was able to accept my part and as my husband accepted his, we were able to start feeding into our union. Our relationship began to grow. A ministry leader recently pointed out that just as children have growing pains, we have growing pains in our recovery. This is the very truth and there have been  growing pains in my marriage. At the end of the day, our marriage has grown. It has grown more than I ever thought possible.

I am grateful that God loved me too much to leave me where I was at a couple years ago. I am grateful for progress and growth. I am grateful for the transfusion of grace and mercy into our marriage by the saving sacrifice of Christ. I wanted to share, for those that may be facing starving marriages. Start feeding into that precious covenant. Start by getting on your knees, and asking God to take over. He will provide the way, if you can manage to submit to His will. What once was starving can began to bear fruit again. For those needing more guidance, you can find a local Celebrate Recovery group near you.
www.celebraterecovery.com

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
 ~Johnna

Heartfelt Gratitude...

I am a learner. In all things, I try to find the lesson. I have this feeling of peace when I find the lesson in a situation. In that lesson everything makes sense to me and hope fills in me, like I have just been handed a map and I know where I am going from here.

I really look for the lesson when I listen to sermons. Some times it is very clear to me as soon as the pastor starts talking that I am struggling in an area and I need to listen. There are times I have to really pray for my heart to open because I feel like I am missing the lesson. There is another reaction I look for and that is guilt. I know that guilt is a sense that is used to convict me of something I am doing wrong.

Today's sermon was over love as we have been going through 1 Corinthians. We reached chapter 13.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV)

The sermon was taught, Love is a verb and not a noun. I have heard it said, love is the action part of faith. In any case, as I was listening I was trying to get the lesson, what I needed to learn. Then the part came about opening ourselves to let that change happen. Through Christ's love, we wouldn't be the same, everything would be changed.

A feeling came over me, almost prideful at first and I had to process it. A feeling that I wanted to shout "I did that, we did that!!" Nineteen months ago , I hit a bottom in my life, and I hit my knees. Twelve months ago, we hit that same bottom in our marriage and hit our knees again. We submitted it all to God just as we had done with our individual lives.

I realized I wasn't feeling guilt and it wasn't pride, it was gratitude. The lesson of Love wasn't taught to me in church today, but by life over the last year and half. I couldn't shout, "I did that, We did that" because honestly God did that! Today, God brought not just the lesson, but the blessing and feeling of Gratitude. Grateful that I , my husband, and our children know real and true love.

As a family, we practiced love. We took action, and it was God's faithful and unconditional love for us as sinners that turned our lives into more than we ever imagined. Christians since we were children, we no longer believe just what we have been told, we KNOW what we have been told. We have been saved by the Grace of God. We have been forever changed by His love from the inside out.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV)

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna