A Higher Standard

A Higher Standard 

So often, we look to other people to determine who we are and who we want to be. We take in other people's opinions, beliefs, and behaviors in an attempt to "fit in".  This is especially so for those in recovery searching for a new normal. This is very alarming and it won't work. 

It's like pianos.  You can't take two  pianos and attempt to tune them to one another. You will then have two pianos out of tune. A person must come in and use a tuning fork: a standard if you will and tune each piano. Then, the pianos will play in harmony. 

So it is with people. We can't fully rely on another person to be okay. Our faith has to be in God. He is our higher standard in which we can all be tuned. When we allow ourselves to be tuned into Him rather than conform to this world, life becomes a symphony. 

 

The tuning forks for this are bible, prayer, fasting, worship, and church. 

What are you allowing to set the tone of your life? People or a higher standard? 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2 ESV)

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ, 

~Johnna

Feeding Marriage....

 "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  Matthew 19:6

When I entered the Celebrate Recovery program 2 years ago, I was told after I worked the 12 steps on myself, I would have to work them on my marriage as well. To be honest, I had already given up on my marriage at that point and working anything on it just didn't make sense. I had tried for 15 years, I was out of options, or so I thought.

After working the steps on ourselves, a reconciliation happened and my husband moved back home and we were ready. What we didn't realize was how we were really starting from scratch. On our knees in prayer, we gave it all back to God and He sure began to work.

Here is the part I would like to say that everything is perfect and all better today. I have learned it will never be perfect and all better. Marriage is a process. It is not just a process to make us happy, but to make us holy. It forms and molds us into better people. IF we feed our marriage with intention and purpose, it will grow and thrive as the most important relationship we can have with another person.


 I know as a parent, I wasn't absolutely sure what to do with a baby or how being a mom should look. I knew a baby needed fed so I asked the nurses and doctors and other moms. I knew a baby needed check ups so again, I sought guidance from others, I read parenting books to make sure my kids were functioning and thriving as expected. If I had just guessed, I would risk starving my child, harming my child, I wouldn't be  a good mom. This is exactly what we had done wrong in our marriage. We didn't seek advice and instruction and had literally starved it.

I see now, how my marriage requires the same care and concern. If I want to be a good wife, I had to seek guidance from other wives. I had to read books, particularly the bible. I had to pray and I had to be willing to grow. Just as I am determined to succeed as a mom in raising my children, I had to be dedicated to my marriage. Anything less that submission and obedience to instruction and wisdom and I my marriage wouldn't make it. My identity as a wife was on the line and it was my own fault for not thriving in that area.

Once I was able to accept my part and as my husband accepted his, we were able to start feeding into our union. Our relationship began to grow. A ministry leader recently pointed out that just as children have growing pains, we have growing pains in our recovery. This is the very truth and there have been  growing pains in my marriage. At the end of the day, our marriage has grown. It has grown more than I ever thought possible.

I am grateful that God loved me too much to leave me where I was at a couple years ago. I am grateful for progress and growth. I am grateful for the transfusion of grace and mercy into our marriage by the saving sacrifice of Christ. I wanted to share, for those that may be facing starving marriages. Start feeding into that precious covenant. Start by getting on your knees, and asking God to take over. He will provide the way, if you can manage to submit to His will. What once was starving can began to bear fruit again. For those needing more guidance, you can find a local Celebrate Recovery group near you.
www.celebraterecovery.com

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ,
 ~Johnna

The cures...

Spent the morning studying the beatitudes in Matthew 5. I think they are the cure for the abominations that start in Proverbs 6:16.

I say that because in Recovery, we are taught not just to look at the character defect but also the opposite, the asset. To let God work in us and on us in removing our defects by intentionally practicing the opposite of our habits.

The Beatitudes are a roadmap of virtues for us to intentionally practice. They don't just help heal character defects, they prepares us for the kingdom of heaven.

It amazes me how much recovery is biblical but I think the analogy of recovery helps bring the biblical into a lost world.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

To "those" people from "us" people..

I have several family members that struggle with addictions to drugs and alcohol. These struggles often result in people passing judgement and acting with prejudice towards our family. As someone that has never touched a drug and can count on my hands the number of times I have drank, this causes me great frustration.

I want "those" people that look at "us" people to know a few things:

1. Our family struggles, they are not what defines our family. Our reaction to our struggles define our family.

2. It's a family struggle. One family member that isn't sober minded will affect the rest of the family and their thoughts and actions.

3. We didn't choose this struggle, it's a disease that requires something outside of ourselves to cure.

4. Recovery becomes a way of life because without it, we wouldn't have life.

5. Those of us that have found recovery, are grateful for our struggle. It's gives us a spirituality that only comes from living a hell that few understand.

6. We do believe in God just as much as you do and consider ourselves God's children. The grace present through our struggles has left no doubt of God. He is real and He is good.

7. We kind of feel sorry for you. Everyone has hurts, habits, and hangups but not everyone gets the freedom that comes from recovery.

8. Celebrate Recovery can help you too.

In the past, recovery programs have been more aimed at specific groups. Celebrate Recovery has opened up the world of recovery to include everyone. It's a program for Men, Women and children struggling with anything. I recently took a chip for my weight, and have taken them for my marriage, control issues, resentment, handing things over to God, a call to ministry, and the list is endless.

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. (Romans 7:18 ESV)

If you are reading this and are facing ANY struggle or if you are just curious, I invite you to find a Celebrate Recovery near you.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

Getting Unstuck

Last night's lesson in Celebrate Recovery was 7 reasons we get stuck. One of the reasons was laid on my heart pretty heavy. It was "afraid of the risk in making the necessary change".  Let me disect that a little. This blog is two fold, one for me to share and one for me to understand and learn. So let us process this together.

The first part, "you are afraid of the risk" This is probably an understatement for me. I haven't been one to really be fearful of much before but after some traumatic experiences over the last two years, there are lots of things that scare me. Risk means to me that there is no telling how any decision I might make will turn out. That kind of makes me afraid to even take part in any decision making process.

The second part, "making the necessary change." I am very well aware that we can't grow without change. Change is inevitable and a part of life. Change is what keeps us moving forward. Necessary is an important word in that phrase as well. Sometimes we can get really comfortable in our lives. I know that I find something that is working for me and I want to stay right there. Then I find something not working for me and for some reason, I still want to stay right there. There are changes that need to made, they ARE necessary. We have outgrown what was or wasn't working and we HAVE to change.

While there are a lot of ways that this reason for being stuck may apply to us, the bigger part is getting unstuck. We have to make the decision to make the change. Taking a leap of faith was once defined to me as the act of making a commitment and expecting success. Regardless of how we define failure, if we are in God's will, whatever happens is considered success. Things may not happen according to our plans or what we were expecting but we can be assured that God's plans are always going to be for the greater good.


Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 KJV

We don't have to be afraid of necessary change. We can be assured we are not alone, we will be strengthened, we have help, and God will uphold us. To get unstuck, we just have to take that leap of faith. 

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna

2013~ A season of growth

It's a brand new year. Its time
to make resolutions, I choose to call them goals. Whatever we want to call them, it's a great time to think about what expectations we have for our lives and what direction we need to go.
Last year was a year of recovery for our entire family. There are many factors that influenced the need for this. The bigger picture, our family wasn't on a spiritual path or living in God's will. We did have about 6 months of recovery going into 2012 but we had many more years of traveling the wrong way.

In 2012, we attended many Celebrate Recovery meetings. We started attending church again. My husband helped launch the landing and I helped launch Celebration Station, the teenage and children ministries for Celebrate Recovery. We were able to visit other churches and recovery programs and give our testimonies. We were blessed to be so immersed, along with our children, into an environment that provided much healing.
Our new way of life was a little terrifying. It was different than anything we had planned. I read in Hebrews a verse that reflected this past year so much for me...

"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions; "~ (Hebrews 10:31, 32 KJV)

I can literally see God scooping up our family, dangling us across the way like a huge crane, as he swings back on to the path HE intended for us. That swing across was terrifying. So many changes, old environments and old relationships gone replaced with new places and new relationships. Landing on our feet, in the will of God, made it worth it. It just took our obedience and faith.

I worked on several projects this year, one being to see what it would take to bring a homeless resource center to our hometown. I was visiting another homeless resource center with members of a board I serve on. I can't explain the feeling I felt as I stood there in the middle of this day center full of the homeless other than to say it was the hug of God, letting me know this was where I was supposed to be standing. I was froze in place for several minutes.

That recaps a lot of 2012 as far as Recovery is concerned. As 2013 begins, I have set my goals and expectations. One thing I have learned, to pray for God's will for my life and the strength to carry that out. I can't say I have many specific
expectations but as 2012 was to recovery, 2103 will be to growth.

I pray for growth in faith, wisdom, relationships, service, recovery and love.

"Behold, this is the joy of his way, and out of the earth shall others grow. " (Job 8:19 KJV)

Whatever your goals, resolutions, and expectations for 2013... Hold on tight to your faith. Give glory to God whenever possible and always help that love grow by leaving fingerprints.

A Grateful Believer in Jesus Christ
~Johnna